I Think You Have Bigger Problems

It is always interesting when I enter a home to do pest control work.

People have very different ideas about what constitutes a problem. Today I arrived at a home where I was instructed to treat the basement and the outside for spiders. I was met by the lady of the house and informed that her daughter had a serious lung condition that left her with only seventeen percent breathing capacity.

I made some sympathetic noises and followed her to the basement, discussing the treatment options along the way.

Entering the basement, I was hit by the overwhelming odor of cat urine. And her daughter had breathing problems? Wow. I was reminded of the smokers that invariably scurry away while I am spraying the outside of one of the nursing homes where I perform routine services. One or two will remain to ask if "that stuff will hurt me."

Ummm . . . you're putting me on, right? Did you know that nicotine fell out of use as an insecticide due to its unacceptably acute health risk to people?

And why do so many health care workers smoke, anyway?

But I digress.

Here I was at this woman's home, marvelling at the dank and dingy basement where her adult children lived in semi-squalor. She showed me her son's room, where a stained mattress and dirty laundry were casually strewn about the floor (yes, the mattress was also strewn. Just use your imagination, okay?)

The dominating feature of this room was a huge, obviously newer flat-panel television.

Cat urine and a $2,500 television - a strange set of priorities. A willingness to pay for a spider spray when they can barely afford to eat is equally strange. The health risk posed by spiders is vastly exaggerated; they are nearly always more a nuisance than anything else.

But more on that in a different post.

I cannot afford a flat-screen behemoth myself - but it might be more accurate to say it would be irresponsible of me to buy one.

A lot of Americans buy things they probably shouldn't. Given the consumer debt load in our country, one wonders when it will be time to pay the piper. Or will the piper be left holding the bag?

Maybe I already know the answer. Maybe my lady customer gave it to me today.

"Just send me the bill."