I had this great idea for a ministry some years ago, but I never could find the supporters to bankroll me. Still, I am passionate enough about the idea to settle for doing my missionary work in my free time, and totally without funding.
My idea was to help save the souls of the many ladies who work at strip clubs all over the country. The most important component of my ministry was the laying on of hands.
Come to think of it, that was the only component of my proposed ministry. It wasn't a bad idea; maybe I just need to flesh it out a bit.
Speaking of flesh, I was reading over the reviews at Netflix for Rumpole of the Bailey, one of my all-time favorite television shows, and I was surprised to run across a rant about the "graphic frontal nudity" that one viewer was confronted with while watching an episode. It took a moment for me to figure out what the reviewer was talking about: an episode that opened with an elderly man painting his much younger wife, who was naked from the waist up. The episode was "Rumpole and the Genuine Article."
The reviewer went on to opine that such a scene was "definitely not for the family or for that matter anyone." I didn't realize I ran the risk of being mentally and emotionally scarred by being exposed to human breasts, especially as I was mercilessly and repeatedly exposed to them during the entire first year of my life. Ditto my daughters, the youngest of whom will very probably be confronted with "graphic frontal nudity" by my wife bare minutes from now.
I am greatly concerned about this problem that has so recently been brought to my awareness. People need to be protected. So I stand ready to combat the problem the instant the need arises. Perhaps I can even work my heroic efforts into my proposed ministry.
The next time I see a pair of bare breasts, I will not hesitate to valiantly intercede by thrusting myself between them and the innocent public - even covering them with my bare hands if necessary!
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