When McDonald's introduced their expansion into espressos, I was excited. I looked forward to an affordable mocha and a few shares of McDonald's stock - especially considering what a mess Starbucks was, and is. Uncontrolled growth and two dollar donuts don't make for a solid customer base or a good investment.
Add to the mix McDonald's guarded restraint with respect to expansion and commitment to sustainable growth, and you've got a company to be excited about. I could hardly wait to try my first coffee.
It had been some years since I had a coffee from McDonald's, and I had forgotten why.
With my first sip, the memory came rushing back. Here was a liquid best suited to defending an embattled fortress from the legions scaling its walls, not a drink meant to be consumed by mortal beings. It was impossible to even sip the stuff without sustaining injury.
Why is their coffee still so absurdly hot? Why can't McDonald's admit to a mistake and begin keeping it at a reasonable temperature? The much-publicized lawsuit over spilt coffee revealed that ol' Ronald had hired a consultant to find out at what temperature folks liked to drink their coffee. Apparently the hired gun was something of a sadist, as the number arrived at bore no resemblance to reality.
And truly, isn't McDonald's in the food business? Shouldn't they know something about preferred beverage temperatures already?
Of course, true to form, the press neglected little details of the case, like the fact that the woman that sued McDonald's suffered third-degree burns. Third-degree burns! It does not seem inevitable to me that food should cause bodily injury. We've all spilled things from time to time; I have, probably more so than the average person. But my little accidents have never injured anything more than my pride.
Remedies in tort cases are generally restricted in law to two options: remedies at law, and remedies at equity. An equitable remedy, in my estimation, would involve the CEO of McDonald's guzzling down sixteen ounces of his finest 180° geothermal-hazard brew.
So give the House of Ronald and $tar-big-buck$ a pass, and stop by Jack in the Box for your caffeine fix - your wallet and your mouth will thank you.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
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